Is honesty always the best policy?

Being honest when quitting!

At various times in my life I have had this dilemma and I am sure many of you reading this have too.

I have always believed that honesty is the best policy.

Why?

This was drummed into me as a child. You would all remember being younger and hearing one of your parents or elders in your family/whanau say, “Just tell the truth, you won’t get into trouble as long as you tell me what happened.”, “Nobody likes liars.”, “You must be honest otherwise the truth will come out one day and come back and bite you on the bottom.”.

In various articles in this blog I have made reference to my experiences in general and I have been 100% honest in delivering balanced articles. IMHO.

Just recently I found myself in a situation where I was beginning to doubt my values/beliefs in this area. This was quite upsetting and worrying after 38 years of preaching and living by the aforementioned ideals.

So here are a few examples of where we all probably choose to ignore this policy.

Consider your answers to these questions.

“Honey, does my bum look big in this dress?”
“Who farted?”
“Do you love me?”

After looking at a baby picture “Isn’t he/she a stunner?”

Or, have you ever heard yourself saying that “The cheque is in the post” knowing full well that the cheque hasn’t even been written, let alone cashable.

Actually I have thought of a few extra ones but I will leave those to your imagination…………

So back to that dilemma. I truthfully explained why I was resigning from the company that I worked for at the time. I explained the major reason quite clearly and to be fair there were a few more including my desire for a fresh challenge so I could rediscover that "Woo factor!".

But.

The truth however, backfired I guess. Why.....

I was ignored for the remainder of my notice period and I struggled to provide the business with a true handover that it deserved. I guess as with all leavers my name will be mentioned for the things that go wrong. That is until the next person leaves. Actually I found out today that it was blamed for some implementation that I was working on. Despite my willingness to ensure it was completed.........

In summary, I believe that on this occasion it was because the truth hurts and sometimes you find yourself trying to be open and honest but if the listener doesn’t like it, they don't hear it.

I guess this has taught me that there is no judging reactions.

So, I guess it all depends on the context that the honesty was received.

In my case, I believe on reflection that the combination of honesty (on my part), truth hurts (receivers reaction), arrogance and politics (receivers modus operandi and expertise), I may have chosen the wrong option, or did I?

I doubt this situation will happen again, but if I find myself in this situation in the next 25 years of my working life. I will then have a real dilemma.

Do I stick to the values that I was brought up with?

or,

• stoop to the lowest common denominator and play dead like so many others do and stagnate in their jobs.
• Add/have no opinion or worth to an organisation.
• Destroy that drive and energy within me.

I don’t know the answer to this question at this stage but it will either be:-

I’ll just say nothing, stay patient and look forward to the time when karma resolves my issue for me.

Or.

Tell it as it is and hope for a more professional response and keep one of my core personal life values in place.

What would you choose? I'm leaning to the later.

Thanks for reading the
Synon 2E and Plex Emporium by Lee Dare (A developer blog). 
Lee.

p.s. Update December 2025 Was definitely the correct decision to go.